She
said
four generations of
beauty & self care
Our identity is immensely rooted in the standards of our mothers and grandmothers and sometimes unique family dynamics. And, those standards are taught by your mothers, grandmothers, and if you are blessed and highly favored like Kris Keys--your great grandmothers. Our latest She Said story is a self discovery journey of four generations of beauty and self care.
STORY & PHOTOS BY ANDREA FENISE
beauty & the genes
The tradition of black beauty in the South is a bit complex. Yet, even in the intricacy of rituals and just the way things are done, there are standards. And, those standards are taught by your mothers, grandmothers, and if you are blessed and highly favored like Kris Keys--your great grandmothers.
TELL US ABOUT YOUR GRANDMOTHER BERNICE.
So, my grandmother's name is Bernice Hughes and she's my maternal grandmother. For a living, well when I was growing up she worked at the post office as a window clerk pretty much all of my life. Before then she sold insurance. She had four children. She's always been just the glue, like most grandmamas in our family. The person who everybody could go to to tell their secrets. She held everybody's secret. Her house was a staple like Big Mama's house. She has a calm spirit but stern.
WHAT WAS THE RELATIONSHIP LIKE BETWEEN HER AND HER MOTHER?
Her and her mother, they were close in age. She had her when she was like 16, a teenager. They were more like friends, to me, than mother and daughter. My great grandmother didn't pass away until she was 99. My grandmother was well into her 80s. My grandma didn't find out my great grandma was her mom until she was like 10. My grandma was raised by an older aunt because my great grandma went to work in cotton fields. My older aunt took my grandma to a more well to do town and raised her. The downfall was she didn't know who her mama was. My aunt was a heavy influence on my grandma's habits, personality, and attitudes.
HOW DO YOU THINK YOUR GREAT AUNT INFLUENCED YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S WAYS?
So, I never got a chance to meet her but from what I heard she was very swanky, very like upper echelon type of woman. She wore furs, she wore big hats. She was an entrepreneur. She did hair, and owned a cafe and a rooming house. She was a black woman during that time, she was really doing it. The people in the town including the white people knew to respect her. I don't know if she looked down on the folks in the country but she made it very clear I'm not a field worker. You know? She was a hard worker but just in a different way.
My great grandmother, I would say was very resourceful. She was the family cook. For example, she ate the whole pig. She was very clean and worked with her hands. She worked for a white family that was wealthy family. So, I think many of her ways were influenced by what she saw within their household. At her home, many of our family traditions like family dinners were emulated by the white folks. She wanted the table set like them. We had small servings of food. We didn’t have big tin pans. We had special china and things like that.
Grandma Bern was more prissy with nice jewelry and nice clothes. I think they were just very different because of my aunt's influence. Great grandmother and Great Aunt came from two different worlds.
But, both women were very particular about hair.
"She said, you finna go to the store with those rollers in your hair? no, you not!"
HOW DID HER WAYS SHAPE YOUR VIEWS OF BEAUTY AS A BLACK WOMAN?
Oh, it shaped me a lot because my grandma also passed down some of those ways to my mom. Growing up as a creative person, I always expressed myself through painting and also my hair. When I was young, I did hair, I did hair all of my life. The more you are around other black women especially in a black city, I wanted all of the hairstyles. I wanted a freeze, pin curls, the tree, all of those cool black girl hairstyles. My mama was just like you are not getting a relaxer. She thought my hair would fall out. I still would practice on my hair. My Saturdays would be full of doing hair in my room.
I saw Black hair as being beautiful. My sisters and I went to the beauty shop every two weeks to get a press and curl. I thought my hair was beautiful blown out. But, I grew up thinking that if you are going somewhere formal or nice, your hair needed to be straight and curled.
"I never imagined i would be wearing my hair curly in an afro like i do now! the only time i saw my natural hair was before i was getting it pressed out"
I remember when I went to Japan some years ago, I did some marley twists on my hair. I didn't want to fool with my hair while there. My mama was like, "You are about to go to Japan and work with this luxury hotel and you're going to wear your hair like that." I was like "Yeah you're right." And, I conformed. This was when I was a grown woman. So still to this day, their beauty standards are deeply embedded in how I present myself.
EVEN IN THE INTERVIEW, SHE WAS FUSSING AT YOU ABOUT YOUR HAIR. WHAT ABOUT HER WAYS ARE YOU SAVORING AND HOLDING ON TO?
The biggest thing for me is the concept of self-care. My great grandmother was 98 still getting her nails done. I love that! I don't care how old they get. It is a part of maintenance. I still want to get my hair shampooed, a massage, nails done, up to the very end.
WHY IS THAT SO SPECIAL TO YOU AS A BLACK WOMAN?
As a black woman it's special because we are so used to putting everybody else first, especially for our elders. To see them maintain self care rituals for themselves, is something I love. I've seen it all of my life and I want to hold on to it.
TO ME, IT SOUNDS LIKE AN ACT OF RECLAMATION FOR ME, ADORNING THOSE SAME HANDS THAT PICKED COTTON, YOU KNOW? WAS THERE ANYTHING ELSE SHE TAUGHT YOU?
She would always emphasize knowing your family history. She didn't care about telling us our history-no matter how ugly it was. When I started working on this genealogy project, I was so happy that she thought that way. It is just things that I would have never known had my great grandmother not told me. My grandmother will take it to the grave.
She said
beauty rituals
NIGHTLY FOOT PAMPERING
My great grandma, she said, "Put Vaseline on my feet and saran wrap around my feet and then put a sock on top of that. And, you will wake up with soft feet. You'll be sweating from all of that petroleum.
EGG WHITE FACE MASK
She said, "Put egg white on your face. Let it dry then wash it off.
LEARN MORE ABOUT
kris keys
Kris Keys is an interdisciplinary artist and fashion designer who captures her audience with swift, vibrant, and sultry strokes of watercolor paint. Her diasporic work tells stories through a mixture of historical context, fashion, and art.
Currently, she is deeply immersed in a new project Genealogy. Genealogy is a collection of watercolor paintings and films that capture the journey of tracing the origins of her family’s genetic blood disorder. Through stories of her ancestors, a quest of self discovery, and knowledge of herbal flowers; this series was born. Take a journey with her as she capture stories through film and art while tracing my family’s lineage.